


...Leftovers

by stickinthemud



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Body in the Trunk!Mafia!AU, Canon Setting, Crack Treated Seriously, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Magic still exists, Reference to Cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 09:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9484913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stickinthemud/pseuds/stickinthemud
Summary: They're on a road trip. Everything is the best.There's a body in the trunk. Everything is not the best.Or:Noctis forgot to take a body out of the trunk after a mission for his father. And now it's on a road trip with him, Ignis, Gladio and Prompto. Prompto, who has no idea that that Noctis and his "friends" were even in that line of work.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt over at [ffxv-kinkmeme](http://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/841.html?thread=569673#cmt569673):
>
>> Noctis is Mob boss's son and Prompto is his innocent cinnamon roll of a boyfriend who has no idea what Noctis does for a living, and would like to keep it that way. Unfoutunately, right before leaving on a cross-coutry trip with his friends-in-the-Family Ignis and Gladiolus, they realise that a rather lage piece of Noct's secret life has been left in the trunk. They no time to deal with it properly, so they decide to shove it back into trunk, pile their gear on top of it, and try to dump it without Prompto ever finding out. Easy, right?  
> Optional:  
> +Noctis still has his powers so we can get shit blatant abuse of Blizzard and serious discission of whether or not a corpse can go in the Arsenal.  
> ++fuckng on the backseat mere inches from the body.  
> +++Noct &co end having to kill someone else now they have two bodies to deal with.  
> ++++Canibalism jokes.  
> 
> 
>   
> Let that be your warning in addition to the tags! Oh and I'm pretty sure the trunk of the Regalia should be at the front of the car but given the purposes of fulfilling this prompt, I choose to ignore this and gave the Regalia a back trunk.
> 
> To the promptanon: I hope you like it! I apologize in advance that the sexytimes is fade-to-black.

 

"Why. Is. The. Car. So. Darn. Heavy!"

In hindsight, Noctis should have realized that the weight of an extra body in an already heavily armored and heavily packed car would not make a difference to how it was already so back-breakingly heavy. He also should have checked the car over for more than scratches and burn marks and blood splatters before telling Gladio to dump all their camping gear into the trunk. But as it was, his entire body stiffened at Prompto's words and he fell on his face next to the car as his hands slipped from their grip.

The heat under the Lucian sun was unbearable this time of the year. And outside the Crown City, without its tall buildings to block the sun's rays, Noctis could almost feel himself sizzling atop the burning bitumen. He quickly rolled into a more manageable and dignified sitting position just in time to see three faces looking down at him in concern.

"Dude, you okay?" Prompto asked, concern writ plain on his face as he moved to crouch by Noctis's side.

"You break anything?" Gladio asked next, hands on hips, gruff as ever.

"Or is it a break you need?" Ignis asked from his driver's seat inside the car, an eyebrow raised in question. A very pointed eyebrow. A very pointed question. _Anything of concern?_

Noctis contained his panic and blinked twice, looking down to the right, and then at Prompto, before heaving himself up with Prompto's helping hand. "Nothing," he said. He brushed at his pants then dusted his hands off, aiming for nonchalant. "It's way too hot out here." _There's a problem but Prompto's here so I can't talk about it._

"Tell me about it," said Prompto. "I thought my shoes would get stuck on the road back there." Before he turned to go back to his pushing post, he gave Noctis a slap on the shoulder followed by a gentle patter of fingers as he withdrew his hand. An expression of affection, a sign of relief. It never fails to warm Noctis on the inside.

"If you're done taking your break, get a better grip and put your back into it," said Gladio from where he was already in position to push at the back of the car.

Noctis sighed, shared one last look with Ignis, and they resumed pushing the poor, broken down Regalia along the dusty road.

 

**

 

It took them one and a half hours of grunting, cursing, and several cans of Ebony before they finally got a call through to Cid's garage at Hammerhead. Feigning a search for better reception – because Noctis knew that their phones had full reception within Lucis - Ignis walked out of earshot from the car to speak to Cid. Prompto was taking a turn in the driver's seat now, and Noctis stopped his pushing to lean back against the driver's door, finally able to catch a breath again.

"So," said Prompto. "You sure that giant bruise on your forehead is okay?"

So it wasn't just a headache then, Noctis thought, a headache for the presence of…leftovers in the trunk. "Thought it was from the heat," he said out loud. He bent down towards the wing mirror of the car and checked his forehead. Yup, there was a bruise right in the middle. He prodded at it with a frown and tried to push his dark fringe around to cover it.

"I could kiss it better if we were alone," Prompto said quietly, leaning over to look in the mirror with Noctis, a small smirk on his face as he pressed their cheeks together. Noctis smiled and acknowledged the suggestion by pressing back against Prompto's sun-and-exertion-heated cheeks gently.

"What are you two doing over there?"

"Nothing!" they both yelled and jerked back into their respective places. Gladio, ever the obstacle, ever Noctis's Shield – Noctis's _barrier_ \- in more ways than one and sometimes for the worse. Noctis elbowed Prompto and they both looked away from each other lest they burst out laughing and invite more questions.

They stayed silent as they waited for Ignis to finish his call. When he returned, Noctis gave him the same raised eyebrow. Ignis returned the look with a blink and a nod. _I have a solution_.

"The reception is poor out here," Ignis said – lied, more like. He covered his eyes with a hand and raised the other to point down the single road they were travelling. "From what I could discern through the broken static, Cid said we wouldn't far from his garage if we already passed the sign with the noodles – which is right ahead, I believe - but I'm not certain he caught my request for a tow truck."

Noctis had a certain idea where this was going.

"Prompto," Ignis continued, turning back to the three of them. "You're the better runner of us four. If you could go ahead to the garage on foot and ask for the tow truck in person, it might save us much time." He paused. "And Noctis can get some ice for his injury."

Low blow, Noctis thought with an internal wince and a stab of guilt.

"I will!" Prompto said immediately and climbed right over the door and out of the car. He turned and clapped Noctis on the shoulder. "I'll be back in a jiffy. Rest up in the car, buddy." With that, he turned and ran off down the road.

"Just follow the road and you'll be there!" Ignis called after him. Prompto acknowledged it with a wave of his hand. With that, they were three men once more and Noctis could finally let his panic rise fully to the surface.

"Leftovers in the trunk," he said.

"What was that?" asked Gladio as Ignis sighed and shook his head.

"We have maybe 40 minutes," said Ignis. "Cid said he'll stall Prompto for as long as he can before he sends the truck, but knowing your Prompto, he might not be easily led in this instance."

Noctis frowned, but decided to let it go. Without that extra concern for Noctis, Ignis could have gone ahead instead. Noctis promised himself to make it up to Prompto later. He got out of the car and walked around to open the trunk.

"Now, when you said leftovers," Gladio said slowly, "I was really hoping you'd meant food."

"It's in the back," Noctis mumbled out, heat now rising to his cheeks as he slowly acknowledged how his incompetence had gotten them into this situation.

With no effort, Gladio removed all the gear for their trip and the three of them stared into the now-empty trunk where a black-wrapped lump was stretched across the back, barely discernible from the black lining of the Regalia's trunk, and barely discernible as having a human form.

"Huh," Gladio said simply.

"I take it you were successful with your optional task," said Ignis, a hand raised to his chin in thought.

"Yup," Noctis with a short nod.

"Clearly not, seeing as you forgot to take out the trash," said Gladio.

Noctis bristled at that. "Shove off. I was tired, and my father wanted it done without witnesses and with minimal damage."

"And you decided to sleep before cleaning up and subsequently forgot about it," said Ignis.

Noctis nodded slowly, the shame rising again. They'd fired people for this type of incompetence. Literally, fired them.

They continued to stare at the back of the trunk.

Ignis raised the hand at his chin to his nose. "I believe I'm smelling it," he said.

Oh crap, the heat. Noctis couldn't smell anything but Ignis's chef nose probably could.

"Last night, huh?" Gladio asked. Noctis nodded. "Did you wrap it properly?" Noctis nodded again, frowning because he still couldn't smell anything and of course he could wrap…leftovers properly. What did Gladio think he was? "Uh huh. You sure? Because I sure smell something familiar and rancid and I sure as hell didn't pack any persishables in there."

Damn it all. It wouldn't be like this if it wasn't so damned hot.

"Maybe it's your cup noodles," Noctis tried.

"Yeah. Try again."

"Maybe your gear's gone bad?"

"Now you're just embarrassing yourself."

"Gentlemen," Ignis interrupted, "we're on a time limit here and I have an idea. We can't bury it properly to ensure scavengers won't dig it up again, and a fire out on these plains would be like a beacon of our activities, so." He turned to Noctis and Noctis uncrossed his arms in anticipation. "Noct, if you could freeze the, uh, leftovers for us. Perhaps a higher tier for a faster, deeper, colder freeze? Until we find a better method of disposal, that is."

And Ignis wasn't Noctis's Advisor for nothing. As Ignis and Gladio moved the…leftovers into position a little ways away from the Regalia, Noctis poured all his ice energy into a Flask and threw in a dash of Ebony to boost it to Blizzara.

They just managed to stuff everything back into the trunk when they saw a large yellow truck coming towards them, someone blond and waving – Prompto, of course – hanging out from the passenger side. The sun had done quick work with any lingering ice crystals on the ground and in the air and Noctis breathed a sigh of relief.

He didn't know how he could keep that part of his life secret from Prompto for much longer. But for now, everything was okay.

 

**

 

When Gladio had said camping would be 'cozy', Noctis hadn't thought that it meant the four of them would be sleeping almost cramped together in the same, small tent. He'd been hoping to grab some alone time to make it up to Prompto for the run to Hammerhead. They snuck out of the tent after they made sure Gladio and Ignis were both sleeping and since there was only hard ground and prickly bushes for miles around, they settled for the the car, parked down from the Haven where they'd set up camp.

And Noctis, Noctis was very ready to make it up to Prompto for the lies and the trouble, his lips and hands growing bolder and bolder as Prompto responded with matching eagerness. They fumbled themselves into the backseat of the car and Noctis moved to pull Prompto over him, eyes constant flicking involuntarily to the trunk and…. And there was frost on the hood of the trunk.

There was frost covering the hood of the trunk.

The cold of the frozen…leftovers was spreading to the rest of the trunk now that the rest of the contents were removed and there was frost on the hood. Prompto would see the frost. Prompto, photography geek Prompto, would definitely see the frost. Prompto, curious and inquisitive Prompto, would want to investigate the frost. And Noctis, poor blueballing Noctis, didn't know if he could lie right to Prompto's face like Ignis could.

In that fraction of a second of panic for which Noctis would be proud of himself at a later time, he made up his mind and let his movements carry on naturally until Prompto was the one seated and Noctis was the one straddling him, facing the frosted hood of the trunk.

Maybe Ignis was right about the whole 'thinking ahead' thing.

"Want you in me," Noctis said, pushing as much of his desire into that simple request, hoping Prompto would mistake his blush for arousal rather than embarrassment at having to request for something so directly in order to deflect from the fact that there were…leftovers in the trunk.

"I, uh." Prompto's hands faltered from where they were gripping at Noctis's hips and he looked away. And Noctis had a moment of panic before Prompto looked at Noctis in wonder and spoke again. "You sure?"

"Never been surer in my life," Noctis said. And that was the truth, despite him trying hard to brush off the panic and the knowledge that there were…leftovers inches from where they sat. He lowered himself down until he could feel his own heat and hardness pressed against Prompto's. Prompto let out a small moan, and Noctis used that sound to drown out the rest of his mind. "Chop chop, Prompto," he breathed into Prompto's ears, and was rewarded with a soft kiss and a softer laugh.

And all was well again.

 

**

 

All was not well. One lot of…leftovers was enough trouble already. Two? Two meant they could barely fit anything into the trunk anymore. At the very least, all the Anak and Garula meat they'd accumulated would go unspoiled for some time. Noctis just wasn't sure he could eat the meat, even if Ignis had cooked it to perfection. There was also the fact that the Regalia barely needed air conditioning, what with having its own source of coolness right in the trunk. Perhaps, Noctis thought as he dozed in the backseat, he just needed to work on his stealth and not be caught out by a Niff scout the next time he wanted to find somewhere to relieve himself.

He jerked awake when they came to a stop. Yawning and stretching his aching body (thanks to Prompto, and thanks to the cold, leather backseats), he looked around with bleary eyes, taking in the small service stop and the single yellow chocobo being led by a lady wearing coveralls.

"Oh. My God," said Prompto, kneeling up in his front seat. "It's a chocobo!" He turned around and bounced in his seat, pointing the chocobo out to Noctis and Gladio. "Guys! It's a chocobo! Can we go ride the chocobo? Can we take photos with the chocobo? Please?"

And Noctis, never one to not let Prompto indulge in his excitement, smiled and said, "Sure."

"Yes!" Prompto said with a pump of his fist. He jumped out of the car and made straight for the bird and its probable owner. "Come on, guys!" he called back. "It's a chocobo-oooo!"

As promised, they let Prompto take pictures of them with the chocobo and Noctis let himself indulge in a hug with the adorable bird before Ignis pulled him aside. Noctis gave one look back at Prompto - who was engaging in a lively conversation with Heather, Polly the chocobo's handler – and followed back to where the Regalia was getting fuelled up by Gladio.

"We're still three days drive from the Ravine where we can safely dispose of our…leftovers," Ignis said. "I'm afraid keeping them in the trunk isn't feasible for that amount of time. There isn't a Haven nearby for you to reabsorb more ice energy and given the heat, I can't be sure they'll stay frozen till the morning."

"Hey, 'leftovers' would be good for when we can't hunt anything for dinner," said Gladio.

Noctis screwed his face up in disgust. "Gross."

"Not all of us eat meals cooked by personal chefs every night back in Insomnia, _Highness_."

Noctis frowned at the title, looking over his shoulder to make sure Prompto wasn't within earshot. Prompto was now being helped by Heather to sit into Polly's saddle. He looked too happy to even contain his huge grin, Noctis noticed. Well, at least Prompto's happy.

"And here I thought I was your personal chef as well, Gladio," said Ignis.

"Yeah, only out here on our trip. And there's only one type of fork per person, and I have to hunt the meals," Gladio shot back.

Noctis spoke up before the bickering can escalate: "I assume you have another plan, Iggy?" Gladio frowned and turned away to complete refuelling of the Regalia, and Ignis turned back to Noctis.

"Simple," said Ignis, "if only a hypothesis. I've been thinking."

"Tell me something I don't know," Gladio said from the side.

"Your Arsenal," Ignis continued, evidently ignoring Gladio's remark.

"What about it?" Noctis asked.

"We've been putting all our weapons in."

"Yeah."

"Even non-standard items like your fishing rod."

"…Yeah." How did Ignis know he'd put his rod in?

"Fishing rods and swords may be very different in their function" – Gladio snorted – "but they are both made of Matter. All things, including you and I and Polly the chocobo, are made of Matter. All things, Noct."

Noctis knew where this was going. "That's…new," he managed to say.

"Could work," Gladio said, looking at the trunk then back at Noctis. "You think it'll drain too much from you? Something this big?"

"I'm more worried about how it'll feel once inside me," Noctis said. "And how I can pull them out again."

Gladio snorted again as Ignis spoke: "Can we be sure they'll remain in the condition they are put in as? That they won't…spoil inside the Arsenal? Although I suppose it doesn't matter if you release them straight into the Ravine."

Noctis scratched his chin. He never really considered this. The Arsenal was, well, an arsenal. For weapons, ammo. Metal. Plastic. It took some of his life force, accessing and using it, but not much. Even so, Gladio had refused to put in much of the camping gear, opting for the Regalia to take the strain instead. Noctis stopped himself on that thought. Gladio may be hard on him, what with the weapons training and the preparations for him to one day take the reins of his father's Empire, but Noctis knew he still cared.

Still. He's never tried putting living matter into the Arsenal. Well. Not living anymore. But still of the same origin.

"Noct?" Ignis's voice came gently.

"I'd have to know exactly how they look, how they feel," Noctis began. "I can try the first one" – because he personally saw to its preparation and wrapping – "but the second one I'll need to have a better look."

There was a squawk from behind them and they turned in time to see the chocobo, Prompto riding astride it, glide down from where it had managed to climb onto a fence post. They turned back to the problem at hand once they were certain Prompto would continue to have fun on the chocobo. Noctis felt another stab of guilt. This was important, what they were doing, but it never felt right to leave Prompto out of their circle. He'll make it up to him later. Again.

"Noct?" Ignis prompted him again.

Noctis shook himself and stood straight. "Let's do this."

 

**

 

So. It turns out having…leftovers inside of you didn't feel so different to having swords and lances and guns and fishing rods inside of you. It was jarring, how it had disappeared at Noctis's touch, like it had never once been a living, breathing human. And it didn't feel like one inside him now.

Noctis…well. Noctis was heir to the underworld of Insomnia. He was brought up on necessary death, on necessary evils. But this brought to the surface just how fragile, now very not special human life was. You live, you die. You become something, you become nothing. You live by rules set by whoever's in power, and even as one who will become in power one day, Noctis felt like it was all a foolish endeavour. Trying so hard for a fleeting chance to shine. But –

"Noct! Hey! We're here!"

But then Prompto would smile at him, Prompto would laugh at something silly, Ignis would make a dry joke, and Gladio would slap him on the back, and…. Noctis was a sap, because it was all worth it for these fleeting moments.

He blinked himself awake from where he was dozing in the backseat. Prompto was up in his seat again, looking over the side of the car at the Ravine that cut through the earth. On the other side of the Ravine was a breathtaking view of the Disc of Cauthess, the spines of the Meteor rising up to the blue sky, the Archaean supposedly slumbering beneath it.

Noctis heard Ignis mutter something that sounded like a prayer of thanks and honestly, he felt the same.

"How about a souvenir shot, Noct?" Prompto asked.

And even if they hadn't expected – hoped – for an opportunity to make a quick stop right in the middle of a bridge, Noctis would've said 'yes' anyway.

This life isn't so bad, Noctis thought, once they were back in the car and on the way into Lestallum. A road trip with his friends to celebrate his 20th birthday, the Empire flourishing in Insomnia and the wider country of Lucis, making Prompto happy…. He promised himself right then to tell Prompto about the secrets he'd been keeping once they were back safe in the Crown City. He promised that Prompto would know everything from his own mouth and that if Prompto wanted to back out once he knew, that he would let him go.

They drove on and Prompto, as usual, flipped through the photos taken that day as they settled down for food at The Leville in Lestallum.

"Soooooo, I don't want to alarm anyone," Prompto began, staring hard down at his camera. "But I think I caught a shot of two very fresh bodies, I mean, like, human bodies, corpses, in the Ravine." He looked up at them and Noctis decided that his life was never going to go the way he thought and planned for it to go. Maybe Ignis wasn't so right about thinking ahead.

"That so?" Gladio asked cautiously, eyeing Noctis pointedly, something like a frown forming on his scarred face.

"Yeah," Prompto said, drawing the word out as he passed the camera to Gladio before looking back at Noctis, eyes twinkling. "I think we should go investigate! That Ravine is the perfect place to dump bodies because you can't get in or out easily but we're young and fit and we can totally manage!"

Noctis swallowed his rice hard and put his bowl down before the sudden adrenalin spike in his blood made him drop it. Both Ignis and Gladio were looking at him now, Ignis with an exasperated expression and Gladio with a clear frown. Noctis felt a spike of annoyance. How was he supposed to have controlled how the…leftovers fell when he'd dumped them from the Arsenal?

"Can we, Noct?" Prompto asked, earnest as ever.

And for once, Noctis was going to have to say 'no'. And move his plan up ahead of schedule. Prompto wasn't going to get his investigation, but he was going to get a story. Noctis could pretend something didn't exist, but he couldn't fabricate a reaction. And especially not to Prompto.

Noctis gave Ignis and Gladio both The Look, willing them to understand that the time was now. Then he settled back into his chair, drawing out every single ounce of strength he had in him and faced this next hurdle like the Prince he's supposed to be. Like the Prince he is. With his friends by his side.

 

**

 

"You know," Prompto said out of nowhere, voice so cheerful it was jarring. "I'm really glad they really weren't…leftovers."

It'd been five days since Noctis had revealed his life to Prompto, and they were now sitting at camp on a Haven overlooking the Vesperpool. Prompto hadn't spoken to him the day after, and the trip to the Vesperpool was stilted and silent and awkward. Even the fire crackling before them seemed to be crackling awkwardly. Yet Prompto never left, even when presented with ample opportunity at every outpost they'd passed. He wasn't even scared like Noctis had initially feared.

Noctis looked up from where he was studying his plate of half-eaten Garula steak, something like fear and hope warring in his chest. "Yeah?" he asked warily.

"If Ignis did somehow serve them, I really don't think I would've noticed," said Prompto. "I heard that…leftovers taste like young garulas" – he lifted his plate to indicate the Garula steak – "but more tender and less gamey."

Noctis sat in silence, not sure how he should interpret that line. Hope was winning by far, but at the same time, he was still so wary. Gladio, however, roared with laughter at the words, slapping his hand hard on his thigh. Somewhere in the distance, Noctis thought he heard chickatrices squeaking in alarm.

"You'll fit right in, Prompto," said Gladio, laughter lacing his voice.

"Indeed," Ignis said as he returned to his dinner with a small smile.

And Noctis…. Noctis saw Prompto give him that bright, lopsided smile, the same one he gave when he'd introduced himself back during high school. It was the smile that said: 'friends?'

And Noctis, well. Noctis could never say 'no' to Prompto.


End file.
